Have you ever thought about your achievements in life? What were the dreams and ambitions that you wanted to work towards? How did you get there? At First Tee, these are the type of questions we propose to kids and teens to help them understand the process of attaining goals; but to reach their goal, they must first understand how goals are formulated.
A goal is something that you want to do, be or have, but it’s not something that you can do, be or have right at this moment. It’s something you must work to get in the future, and you can apply that to any challenge in life. For example, if your child wants to achieve Honor Roll and receive all As and Bs in school this year, what would that require them to do? They would need to do well on tests and assignments. How would they accomplish that? Encourage them to take good notes, turn in their work on time, and study for their tests.
For kids, having guidelines or tools can effectively help them identify their goals and make them feel comfortable about reaching them. At First Tee, we utilize four guidelines to do this. Talk to your child about the dreams they currently have and try these out for yourself.
Four Guidelines for Setting a Reachable Goal:
The goal is Positive:
I want to achieve a passing score of 80% or higher vs. I don’t want to fail this test
The goal is Important to You:
The goal needs to be important to you, not to someone else. You should be able to explain why you want to achieve it and why it will make a difference for you.
The goal is Specific:
You want to know exactly what you’re working toward.
The goal is Under your Control:
Your efforts will allow you to achieve this goal vs. Something that is out of your control like becoming famous or winning the lottery.
Goal setting is a strategy kids and teens will apply for the rest of their life. When we set our goals, we want to be very clear about them so that we have the best chance to achieve them. The key to remember is that goals come in all shapes and sizes. Just because it doesn’t work for someone else doesn’t mean that you can’t achieve it. Your kids will learn from both their achievements and setbacks, but as they begin to set personal goals, they will learn and grow in ways that you did not think possible.
Want to get involved with what we are building at First Tee? Click here to find out more.
First Tee Chapters provide inclusive golf and character building programs for all kids and teens
By Megan Hart, First Tee HQ
About a quarter of Americans have a disability, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, but as many organizations have redoubled their focus on diversity, equity and inclusion in recent years, this group can often go overlooked in discussions on the topic.
For 25 years, First Tee has shown up every day, determined to ensure that every kid and teen feel welcome and included. First Tee – Greater Cincinnati & Northern Kentucky is just one example of our Chapters who promote inclusive programs.
The Chapter partners with organizations like Els for Autism, Special Olympics of Hamilton County and SCRATCHgolf to serve players of all abilities and skill levels, proving golf is for everyone.
Thanks in part to the United States Golf Association’s IDEA Grant, the chapter has been able to expand its opportunities for all kids. The IDEA Grant was created to promote inclusion, diversity, equity and accessibility efforts at the local golf level. This grant program awarded $200,000 from USGA to First Tee Chapters across the country in 2021.
“USGA’s support is a game changer for the youth in the communities that we serve,” said Greg McLaughlin, First Tee CEO. “With these grants, our chapters are opening the door to even more youth, especially in underserved and underrepresented communities, to explore the possibilities in golf and beyond as they build their character and life lessons through the game.”
The USGA’s efforts to make golf more inclusive go far beyond its work with First Tee. The association will host the inaugural U.S. Adaptive Open at Pinehurst this July, which will feature the globe’s top golfers with disabilities, including those with limb impairments, intellectual and neurological impairments and seated golfers. Among the field is First Tee — Tampa Bay alum Joey Hill and First Tee — Triangle alum Zachary Duncan!
‘You just have to love the kids and find out what they need’
First Tee – Greater Cincinnati & Northern Kentucky is focused on reaching children from all backgrounds and abilities, and with the help of the USGA and other organizations, they have found creative ways to become more accessible.
The Chapter will bring back programming for kids with autism this fall after it was put on hold by the COVID-19 pandemic. Staff first trained with Els for Autism in 2018.
Greater Cincinnati & Northern Kentucky also partners with Special Olympics of Hamilton County to introduce participants to golf. The program attracted about 20 kids per year before the pandemic, and it’ll return this summer for a weekly series.
Three kids have transitioned from the Chapter’s Special Olympics program to its golf course program, and Executive Director Alicia Yund recalls seeing a Special Olympics participant return for a community field day hosted by the chapter.
“It was cool to see him thriving and see how all the other kids were in awe of him and his ability to hit the ball,” she said. “It’s great when all kids are included.”
Wendy Mockabee manages the School Program at First Tee – Greater Cincinnati & Northern Kentucky, which integrates First Tee’s life skills program into elementary and middle schools in the community. One of the participating schools exclusively serves special needs students, and it’s been inspiring to see how teachers have adapted First Tee programming to meet the needs of the kids. For example, teachers attached a leaf blower to a golf club so children with mobility challenges could instead push a button to move the ball.
In addition, the chapter hosts programming for kids with life-threatening and chronic health challenges, including SCRATCHgolf. In partnership with Cincinnati Children’s Heart Institute and the Congenital Heart Alliance of Cincinnati, the chapter recently held a multiday camp for kids with heart defects, who are then provided scholarships for future programming.
“We’ve been very focused on making sure all kids have a safe space, an environment where we’re prepared to make any modifications necessary to make them feel welcome and part of First Tee community,” Yund said. “Weaving accessibility and inclusion into programming — outside of finding more volunteers — it’s not a daunting or taxing effort. You just need to love the kids and find out what they need.”
A number of First Tee chapters within the network offer youth development and programming for participants with disabilities. Contact your local chapter to learn more.
Did you know more than 80 percent of First Tee chapters offer programming specifically for girls?
“Growing up playing golf, I never imagined being in the golf industry,” said Rebecca Caimano, assistant executive director at First Tee — Greater Philadelphia, who joined the chapter in 2011 to help grow its girls programming. “It was tough being the only female who played golf.”
Now, Rebecca is among thousands of leaders/coaches who are involved in First Tee.
First Tee views golf as a metaphor for life. It’s not the score that counts, but what you learn along the way. The game is a perfect practice ground for learning skills that extend far beyond the course. Let’s face it, digging deep when things get tough is a natural part of our sport – and life – experiences.
As we celebrate our 25th anniversary (& Women’s Golf Day), First Tee is proud of the role we’re playing in helping more young girls embrace the sport and what they can learn through it. Thanks to many female coaches and leaders throughout our network – like Rebecca – we are a safe place where girls can come, be themselves and learn from coaches and role models on the course and in the business world.
Also, thanks to organizations like USGA (a Founding Partner), LPGA-USGA Girls Golf and John Deere, sponsor of the Drive Your Future Academy, a national leadership development opportunity for female First Tee teens, we continue to intentionally offer opportunities for girls’ personal growth and development in many ways.
Empowering girls for a brighter future
While many First Tee alumnae have gone on to work in golf, others have excelled in different areas, including medicine, journalism and public affairs. And we think that’s great for them, and for the world around us.
Studies have shown that women leaders are engaging and collaborative, yet it hasn’t always been easy for women to break into many top leadership roles. Golf can help.
Ninety percent of Fortune 500 CEOs play golf, according to the PGA of America, and more than half of all businesspeople believe golf is a valuable networking tool. Women executives believe that a background in sport was helpful to career advancement because it prepared them to work better in teams, and behaviors and techniques can be applied to the corporate setting (Women’s Sports Foundation).
First Tee teaches valuable life skills that can help girls as they become leaders. Through our personal growth and junior golf programs, we encourage girls to build self-confidence that they’ll carry with them into their future.
“I originally stuck with it [golf] because I wanted to beat my brother,” Rebecca continued. “And now, here I am, using a sport that changed my life to change others.”
Now, that’s girl power.
Approximately 25% of First Tee’s coaches are women, and we’d love to increase that number! If you are interested or know of a passionate female leader in your life, please point her here to get involved: https://firsttee.org/get-involved/coach-volunteer/
Sixteen-year-old First Tee – Lake County (Hammond, Ind.) participant, Steven Outlaw, was notified during the 2001 First Tee Network Summit, the annual gathering of those within the First Tee network, that he was going to have to make his speech earlier than originally scheduled. The events to follow happened in a way that only fate decides.
Steven describes it as “being in the right place at the right time.” Using one of the first skills instilled into First Tee participants, as well as taught within his own household, on how to properly introduce yourself to others, Steven walked right up to one of the other speakers of the evening, former president of Georgetown College, Dr. William Crouch, and shook his hand. Steven’s demeanor stood out to Dr. Crouch and gave him quite the idea.
Following Steven’s speech, Dr. Crouch scrapped his own prepared comments and surprised Steven with a full scholarship to Georgetown College and news that he planned to provide a full scholarship to First Tee participants every year following. This full-ride scholarship would alleviate the financial burden of furthering Steven’s education.
Bob Krause, former vice president of institutional advancement at Kansas State University, followed suit with Dr. Crouch’s pledge. The First Tee Scholars Program was born and set to begin by 2003 with the inaugural class of Scholars, many of whom Steven is still in touch with today.
L to R: Christopher Hawkins, First Tee – Metro Atlanta alumnus and First Tee Scholar Class of 2003; Adam Ruegg, Troon Golf; Steven Outlaw, First Tee – Lake County alumnus and inaugural First Tee Scholar; Rod Jackson, First Tee – Metro Atlanta alumnus; Brandon White, First Tee – Lake County alumnus and current Program Director First Tee – Lake County.
As the inaugural First Tee Scholar, Steven graduated from Georgetown College with a degree in political science. After college, he enrolled in the PGA, PGM Accelerated Program. After completing two levels of the program, he secured an internship with Troon Golf, a leading golf management company. He has since worked with Troon Golf for nearly 15 years, starting in Arizona and traveling overseas to work in the Middle East, and in Malaysia managing The Els Club Teluk Datai (rated #83 in the world by Golf Digest in 2016).
More recently, Steven serves as the PGA Director of Golf at Wickenburg Ranch Golf & Social Club, managed by Troon Golf. Steven has been a PGA Class A Professional for more than 10 years and currently serves on the Southwest Section PGA Board of Directors and is very active with Troon’s D&I Council. Going forward, Steven aspires to ascend the ranks in the PGA of America, with a passion specifically around diversity, equity and inclusion and positive change within the game of golf.
Though Steven had numerous amazing opportunities during his time as a First Tee participant, he now prides himself in exploring what he can do for First Tee as an adult. He works closely with First Tee – Lake County, often supplying the chapter with donations.
“These opportunities would not have been possible without First Tee and the core values instilled in me such as perseverance and confidence. Much of what I learned during my time with First Tee I use now to strengthen and empower my team. I am forever grateful and honored to be part of such a great organization. I look forward to the future of First Tee and the path they will pave for the next generation.”
Eleven years after Steven’s speech, the First Tee Scholars Program continues to thrive. It has since received a face-lift following Greg McLaughlin being named First Tee CEO in 2019.
Relaunching officially in 2020, President George W. Bush, honorary First Tee chair, congratulated the first class of the revamped program. First Tee College Scholarship Program now extends its impact to alumni beyond financial support, providing personal and professional development throughout their post-graduate careers.
Each of the Scholars is paired with a dedicated, trained adult mentor who helps encourage and guide them throughout the college experience, including virtual and in-person meetups. The program also provides professional development workshops held in-person throughout the year, and up to $5,000 per year toward tuition.
“First Tee aims to inspire and empower every young person in the program to set goals and begin pursuing them,” said McLaughlin. “The First Tee College Scholarship Program is intended to motivate young people to stay in the program and support alumni as they matriculate through the college.”
In recognition of First Tee’s 25th anniversary, the Class of 2022 includes 25 First Tee Scholars. This time, Steven Outlaw has turned the tables, joining as a mentor to one of the Scholars.
“I was extremely fortunate to be surrounded by great professionals as I progressed through my time with the First Tee. These individuals helped me grow not only in golf, but personally and professionally. I consider myself lucky to be able to return the favor to the next generation!”
We believe in helping youth succeed – on the golf course and in life. Learn more about our programs and how you can get involved.
Experiences are our greatest teachers. They shape how we treat others, how we see the world around us, and how we view ourselves. How we view ourselves is also known as our self identity and is defined as the qualities and potential you possess. It can influence the choices you make, the attitude you have day-to-day, and ultimately, it becomes your inner voice. For youth especially, a positive self identity can have a massive impact on who they become as adults. There are many ways parents can help their kids develop a positive self identity, and at First Tee we pride ourselves in nurturing a positive self identity for youth. Here are three ways you can help your kids develop a positive self identity inspired by our core values.
Live Your Values
Kids watch and learn from the adults in their lives every day. Studying their actions and responses, they develop their identity based on their guardians and the other mentors in their life. If you live according to the values you want your kids to have, then they are more likely to absorb that into their own independent lives. That being said, having a mentor is a great way to ensure this happens. At First Tee,youth learn from their coaches by:
Treating others with respect and honesty
Experiencing the value of teamwork, not just by being told to act as a team but by witnessing their coach lead with teamwork.
Watching their coaches exercise positive self talk and kindness to others around them brings out the best in themselves and their self identity.
Create a Culture of Acceptance
When there is no room for failure there is no room for growth. Fostering an environment that is not only safe for kids to fail but encourages them to try again, helps kids develop a strong sense of self. Acceptance also transcends just failure; it also means that every person, regardless of their background, is welcome. We work together to actively create a space of belonging for every kid— no matter what walk of life. Through example we encourage youth to accept their team members for who they are, treat each other with kindness, and create that culture of acceptance everywhere, so that when they reflect on themselves and their own identity they treat themselves with the same level of respect and positivity that they give others.
Empowerment Through Experiences
For kids, experiences shape their inner voice that gives them confidence and character. Not all experiences in life are easy, and when we empower youth to persevere and stay true to themselves, we bring out the best that’s inside of them. First Tee exists to enable kids to build the strength of character that empowers them through a lifetime of new challenges. As time goes on, that empowerment creates a strong sense of self, and encourages a positive self identity even in difficult situations.
Though a positive self identity may seem like something only some people are born with, it is really something that can be cultivated through leading by example, an open culture of acceptance, and consistent empowerment through all experiences. What do you want your child’s inner voice to sound like when they grow up? Nurturing their self identity can make all the difference in that. We guide kids and teens to strengthen what’s inside and put it into action. If you are interested in getting your child involved with First Tee, you can learn more and sign up today!
What happens when you provide free programs? The results are game-changing.
With support from Southern Hills Country Club, host of this week’s PGA Championship, First Tee – Tulsa provides free character-building programs to everyone who walks through their door. JP Ray is one of many participants impacted by the program.
May is Mental Health Awareness Month – a great time to check in with yourself and consider how you might be able to support others.
“Showing up for others means that you are there for someone when they need you,” explained Emma Laker, a participant with First Tee — Greater Cincinnati & Northern Kentucky. “You show kindness by helping others and not just thinking of yourself. You give people the respect they deserve.”
Mental health challenges can affect anyone – from professional golfers to friends and family. In 2019, a third of high school students reported persistent feelings of sadness or hopelessness, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.
All of that is to say: If you’re struggling, you’re not alone.
Be there for your team and ask for help when you need it
Emma said it feels good to have people she can count on. “It shows me that I am surrounded by friends and family that love me no matter what. I can look up to my friends and family to help me through the rough times,” she said.
Who is on your go-to team? Maybe it’s family, friends, teachers and coaches. Building strong relationships is one of the best strategies for improving your mental health and wellness, according to the CDC.
Game Changers seek out good groups of people that lift them up and allow them to feel safe to be themselves.
It takes lots of courage to speak out about mental health issues you may be facing. By sharing your challenges, you’re not only helping yourself but others, too.
Recently prominent members of the sports world, from Simone Biles to Michael Phelps, have talked about their own struggles and the importance of destigmatizing mental health challenges. No one should feel embarrassed or scared to acknowledge the difficulties they’re facing.
Talking about your problems is the best way to find help! Some mental health situations do require bigger interventions, which is why it’s important to talk to adults about how you’re feeling.
Develop a healthy mindset
As we’ve all seen over the last few years, there are periods when unexpected challenges appear. During the COVID-19 pandemic, many kids experienced the difficulties that come with virtual school, family financial troubles and even losing loved ones.
Fortunately, there are ways to help prepare for tough times.
Stay positive: Don’t be too hard on yourself when things don’t go perfectly and take a few moments to feel proud of your victories – no matter how small.
Do your best: Giving your best effort helps you realize your capabilities.
Give back: Emma volunteers at her church and school, and it feels amazing, she said. “I realize how extremely lucky and blessed I am to have all the love and support of my family and friends. When I am helping others, I feel like I am giving them some of my joy and happiness.”
Take ownership: It’s normal to feel anxious sometimes but remember that you have control over many of the challenges you face. Practicing problem solving tools like STAR – Stop, Think, Anticipate, Respond – can help you feel empowered when future difficulties arise.
Every conversation can be an opportunity to learn something new, build trust with someone, and deepen connections. This happens when we build the skill of active listening and learn to treat listening as an active process – not a passive one.
What is Active Listening?
Active listening is a way of listening and responding to another person that improves mutual understanding. It’s about being present, listening to understand (not respond), and showing active interest and engagement in the dialogue.
Why does it matter?
Active listening is an important skill for all of us to cultivate. Not only is it an important leadership skill, it has been shown to promote mindful thinking, can reduce anxiety and depression, helps build relationships and can promote empathy.
How do we practice it?
At First Tee, we use a process called A-L-R to help build connection through active listening. This helps us to deepen conversations, keep them going, and get the most out of them. Here’s how A-L-R works:
Asking questions: Asking thoughtful questions is not only a way you can keep the conversation going, but it gives you a deeper understanding of the person or topic you are engaging with.
Helpful Tip:Be curious. Try asking questions that dig a bit deeper: How did they feel in that moment? What was going on in their minds during that experience? What would they do differently the next time? These make the conversation richer, rather than closed-ended questions that are typically answered with a simple Yes or No.
Listening to understand: When you ask a question, it is important to listen carefully to what the person is saying. We can sometimes be fixated on what we are going to say next, or when it’s our turn to jump back into the conversation, but try not to think about what you are going to say next.. Your focus is on them and their perspective rather than your own.
Helpful Tip:Make an effort to try to clear your mind first of any distracting thoughts. It can help to jot down a mental or physical note of things on your mind in order to give your full attention.
Reflect & respond to the reply: Keep the conversation going by responding in a way that connects with what they just said. You can try to restate in your own words what the person said, share what you think or feel about it, or ask another open-ended question that connects with what the person just said.
Helpful Tip: Show engagement and interest in what they are saying: look them in the eye when they are talking, use body language like nodding your head.
Active listening requires work, but you’ll be surprised at how much reward there is when you approach conversations and communication with this skill. Active listening is just one of the skills we are supporting kids and teens to build at First Tee. Click here to find out more about our programs.
Golf is a fun and challenging platform for growth, helping kids and teens build the confidence to show up to a challenge, the resilience to keep going when they fail, and the inner strength to do the right thing, even with it’s the hard thing. For today’s youth, First Tee provides mentors who help them write their personal growth story. Ron Castillo, First Tee – North Florida Program Director since 2017, has been a part of First Tee since 2001.
“I moved back to Atlanta after working as an assistant golf professional in Hilton Head, SC. I called one of my professional mentors and told him I was looking for a job. His reply was, “yes, I’ll always have a job for you. Come by tomorrow.” I have been involved with First Tee ever since. Speaks volumes to having a Go-To Team!”
For twenty years he’s been a coach, a mentor and a friend. He can tell you stories about numerous participants and families he’s gotten to know and how their kids have grown to be college graduates, doctors, entrepreneurs, husbands, wives, parents, and yes, professional golfers.
When he joined First Tee, he was ready for the next stage in his career. He stays for something much more personal.
“Simply put, I stay because I absolutely love what I do. Being a coach at First Tee has helped me be a better husband and father. I find myself thinking about First Tee lessons when advising my son and making decisions for my household.”
Coach Ron shares with us why golf is the perfect sport for learning lifelong skills and fostering personal growth.
Become a Coach
At First Tee, we need enthusiastic and caring individuals to serve as positive mentors and role models to kids and teens of various backgrounds. Your involvement can directly impact the kids we serve and the skills they develop.
At First Tee, we guide kids to strengthen what’s inside and put it into action because strong character, inner strength and resilience is needed now more than ever. This month we are talking to leaders within our Network about their experiences and key lessons learned over the course of their careers.
Monica Blake, First Tee – Central Arkansas
What is your current role at First Tee and what is the most rewarding part of your job?
My name is Monica Blake and I am the Executive Director of First Tee-Central Arkansas. The most rewarding part of my job is making a positive impact on the lives of the youth and families we serve in Central Arkansas. As the Executive Director I’m able to serve as the voice of our participants and advocate on their behalf. I am also a certified First Tee coach and I have been intentional about staying involved in the coaching process. I believe that in order to be a successful leader it’s important that I stay connected to our participants and our mission. As the Executive Director, it’s essential to be a good steward of our donors and sponsoring donations and it’s very rewarding to see those contributions directly impact the youth that we serve.
This month we’re celebrating Black History Month and lifting up voices of Black participants, coaches and leaders exploring what it means to be a leader. What does leadership mean to you?
I believe that leadership isn’t about a title or position that you hold, but that it’s about the difference you make in someone’s life. As the leader of First Tee- Central Arkansas it’s important that I’m putting everyone within our organization in a position to not only be successful, but to facilitate an environment where each participant, coach, and volunteer aspire to be the change they seek in the lives of the youth that we serve.
Did you always know you wanted to be in a leadership role? Can you share a little bit about your journey and how you’ve developed into your current role?
My journey with First Tee began in an entry level role as a volunteer coach in 2012. It was in this role, I realized the value that each position within the organization holds, and how it’s sometimes the person who’s the initial point of contact, that can make the biggest impact on a participant. As I reflect on my growth in the organization, and how my career has progressed, I was extremely fortunate for the opportunity to serve as a volunteer. It was instrumental in laying a foundation of what it means to serve and how to incorporate service into my leadership style. I quickly moved into the role of a paid coach and from there I was promoted to Program Director, where I served for 6 years. Being the Program Director allowed me to connect with the curriculum we were teaching and our mission as an organization and how it impacts each participant. In 2019, I became the first female African-American Executive Director of First Tee-Central Arkansas. I know it was every role that I’ve served, which helped prepare me for this amazing opportunity within this organization and has put me in the greatest position to be successful .
Who were some of the strong voices or mentors in your life that inspired you?
Harold Banks has been a mentor to not only myself, but to countless golfers throughout the Central Arkansas area. Harold was always willing to share his knowledge, skills and expertise with everyone in the golf community. He always had a positive attitude and took a personal interest in mentoring the next generation. Harold was instrumental in advancing black golfers in Little Rock and often his advice extended far beyond the golf course. He was respected by golfers throughout Central Arkansas and left a lasting impact on golfers for generations to come. The impact Harold has made on our community is something that truly inspires and motivates me to become a mentor and leader in the community.
Can you give an example of a challenge you have faced in your career and how have you worked to overcome it?
Having to lead during a pandemic was certainly a challenge and continues to be each day. One important lesson I’ve learned is how to constantly adapt to ever changing circumstances and continue to modify and adjust as necessary. Flexibility and the power of teamwork are key pillars I have to lean on. Together, as an organization, we were able to navigate through our new circumstances and now we’re in a position to advance our organization even further. We were forced to evaluate our operations through a different lens, and I feel programming has benefited as a result.
How does or can First Tee play a role in bringing more diversity to our game?
First Tee has the opportunity to play a fundamental role in increasing diversity in golf, especially in Central Arkansas. The mission of our organization has always been to introduce our programming to underserved communities and now we have the opportunity to lead the charge in bringing diversity and inclusion into the game of golf. This is done by elevating black voices within the community and developing a plan to identify the disconnections and expanding opportunities for minorities. As an organization it is our responsibility to ensure that all participants are having an equitable experience.
What advice do you have for young people entering the job market determined to make a career for themselves?
My advice for young people entering the job market would be to find something that you are passionate about and where you can make a difference. Golf has always played a significant role in my life and as I’ve grown older so has the desire to help people in my community. I’m very fortunate to now serve in a role where I get to blend these two together. It is important to make an impact on the world around you and to help those who are in need.
Whether it’s the kind of change we choose or the unexpected kind, it can be hard, uncomfortable and sometimes painful. Change comes in different shapes: having to shift to online schooling, starting college or moving to a new city, a tree in the line of our otherwise perfect shot. We know change is inevitable. Our ability to adapt to changes is what can determine our success both on and off the course.
Understanding our relationship to change can be an important first step in developing adaptability. To do this we can ask ourselves: How comfortable am I when unexpected things happen? Do I see change as a good or bad thing? How do I feel when changes are happening – do I get anxious or do I find it energizing? Am I open to changes to my routines or do I avoid them at all costs?
Having tools or a process can help us effectively deal with changes, and become more comfortable overtime. At First Tee, we utilize a tool called STAR to support kids and teens to build their confidence as they deal with challenges and changes on the course and in daily life. Try it out for yourself: think of the last change or shift that occurred in your daily life and try these 4 steps.
STAR
Stop: This is where you pause and give your mind a break. Take a breath. What are things that help you calm down?
Think: Consider your choices. What are some of the choices you have in this situation? Think of it from all angles.
Anticipate: This means to look ahead. What could happen (good or bad) as a result of each choice? Think about how each consequence will affect your ability to reach your goals.
Respond: Select the best choice of what to do. Each person’s “best choice” may be different from the next. The best choice is one that helps you progress to your goal while maintaining your values.
There is no guarantee to successful outcomes, but these techniques and routines can help us more effectively deal with change. This helps us grow into stronger individuals, better equips us for whatever comes our way, and can create new opportunities along the way.
Want to get involved with what we are building at First Tee? Click here to find out more.
“Who has made a fabulous mistake we can all learn from?”
This is something you might hear one of our coaches ask a group of participants. What comes next is a flood of responses – everything from forgetting to clean their room, an embarrassingly rogue golf swing, getting a horrible test grade, to regretfully saying something mean to a friend.
What the coaches are supporting participants to learn is something we all continually confront in our daily lives: how to grow through challenge. Building these muscles of resilience at an early age – and learning to build them in fun ways – is something we see to be transformative for young people. It’s about helping them see the value of a growth mindset when dealing with adversity and failure. This becomes a tool they can carry inside them to any challenge.
How do we build resilience?
Part of this process is to see the concept of FAIL as simply a First Attempt In Learning. Try it for yourself. Here is an exercise you can do with a partner (perhaps a friend or family member, or by yourself):
Think of a personal story about a time you made a mistake or failed at something in your life. Describe how it felt, what you thought, and share any details you feel comfortable sharing.
Invite your partner to offer insight into what you might have learned from that instance. Share from your own perspective what you learned from that mistake or failure. Highlight the ways that the mistake or failure really wasn’t a failure at all.
Switch roles and ask your partner to do the same.
Finally, reflect on how mistakes can help you discover inner strength.
Failure is a necessary component of success, not the opposite of it. So in the face of failure, stop and look at it differently. See what you can learn and find the ways in which it helps you to build yourself even stronger for the next challenge.
Can you give an example of a challenge you have faced in your career and how have you worked to overcome it?