5 Steps for Helping Youth Overcome Shyness

For many kids and teens, meeting new people is intimidating. What you may not know is for most people, shyness is a learned behavior. Currently, as many as 40 to 60% of adults report being shy. Effective meeting and greeting is a basic communication and social skill that can help build confidence in young people. But learning how to introduce yourself is just the first step! As youth become comfortable meeting new people, they start to learn more advanced communication skills for everyday social situations.

Developing Interpersonal Skills

Understanding how to form relationship is vital to young people’s success. While learning effective ways to meet someone and start conversations may seem basic, these skills are the foundation of positive values like confidence, respect, sportsmanship and courtesy. We’ve heard story after story from young people that start just like this: “When I first joined First Tee, I was a super shy kid… after a year in the program, I could easily go up to someone and introduce myself with no problem.” – Luke Shrestha, alumnus

Building Confidence Through Golf

high five
82% of The First Tee participants felt confident in their social skills with peers.
How do youth overcome shyness and build confidence through golf? Golf is all about socializing! Golf provides an experience to spend a few hours getting to know someone. Starting with that very first encounter on the tee box, to the very last putt, every round of golf begins and ends with a handshake. Throughout our curriculum, coaches and other mentors serve as models of effective communication skills. They help lead the way in communication techniques for youth.

5 Steps for Meeting Someone New

How can you make a good first impression? A greeting is a combination of speech and gesture. It involves the tone and pitch of the voice, as well as one’s expressions and body language. In short, it’s not just what you say, but how you say it. When you meet someone for the first time, make sure you:

1. Face the other person.

This first step is easy. There’s no work involved – just turn your body to face the person you are meeting. You don’t have to hide!

2. Smile and look him/her in the eye.

Sometimes when we’re nervous, we look at the ground or avoid eye contact. But if you give a genuine smile and look someone in the eye, both of you will be more at ease.

3. Give a firm handshake.

A strong handshake creates a bridge for communication between individuals of all ages and backgrounds and sets the tone in showing respect for others.

4. State your name clearly.

Make sure you aren’t mumbling your name; speak clearly and loudly enough to be heard.

5. Begin a conversation using the Ask-Listen-Respond method.

Ask-Listen-Respond (A-L-R) is a conversation model for learning more about others and building relationships. Let’s think about what happens when you are talking to someone:
  • First ASK the other person some questions. Open-ended questions are usually the best conversation starters.
  • Then LISTEN to what the other person says.
  • Finally, RESPOND to what the other person has said.

Help Your Child Overcome Shyness

Is your child struggling with shyness? The First Tee may be the perfect place for you and your family. Research shows 82% of our participants felt confident in their social skills with peers. Our life skills lessons are woven throughout each and every golf class.  And each of our coaches is trained to deliver our positive youth development programs. Visit our locations map and find a chapter in your area. Find a Chapter

Resolving Conflict in 4 Steps

Shaking hands after resolving conflict
The First Tee teaches youth to be good golfers and better people. Find out more

From the school yard to the work place, we experience conflict in every stage of our life. The ability to resolve conflicts with one another is a critical life skill, especially in today’s divisive world. At The First Tee, we encourage participants to work out disputes for themselves whether they arise on or off the golf course.

4 steps To resolve Conflict: CARE

Looking for ways to resolve a conflict that meets the needs of both parties is challenging, but something youth should learn to strive towards. As participants of The First Tee proceed through the program, they learn CARE:

1. Communicate

Open communication is key in a dispute. Expressing how you feel about the situation and sticking to the facts will let the other person know you’re genuine in your actions. Focusing on the problem at hand and not what the other person did will avoid unnecessary conflict.

2. Actively Listen

Listen to what the other person has to say, without interrupting. Try to be objective. Then, ask open-ended questions to make sure each side understands what the other person thinks and how he/she feels.

3. Review Options

Talk over the options, looking for solutions that benefit everyone. Do not feel pressured to come up with one answer immediately. Bring in objective third party for ideas, if necessary.

4. End with a Win-Win Solution

This is the ultimate goal—to agree on an option that benefits both sides to some extent. When one party wins by aggressive behavior or one party simply gives in, someone is losing. And that means you get outcomes that do not resolve the underlying causes of the conflict.

More than a Game: The First Tee uses golf to teach youth ages 7 to 18 life lessons and leadership skills.

More Than a Game

Offered are more than 1,000 locations, The First Tee program was developed by experts in the field of positive youth development and is delivered by trained coaches . Our mission is to help prepare kids and teens from all backgrounds for success in all areas of life. Chapters offer full scholarship or reduced fee programming for those with financial need so that no one is ever turned away for inability to pay.

Find The First Tee Location In Your Community

How to Practice Perseverance in the Midst of Failure

golfer-female-PerseveranceIt’s no secret perseverance is key to achieving your goals. Even the most successful individuals face their share of defeat – it is part of the journey in reaching goals. One of the most valuable lessons youth can learn in their pursuit of success is to learn how to react to failure and to persevere.
per·se·ver·ance
to persist in an idea, purpose or task despite obstacles
To succeed in golf, players must continue through bad breaks and their own mistakes, while learning from past experiences. In golf, players come across hazards, which stand in the way of the pin. Life is the same way – obstacles stand in the way of our goals. Whether you hit your golf ball into the water or didn’t get the test scores you wanted in school, use these steps to drive yourself beyond failure.

4 Steps for Responding to Failure

The 4Rs can help you stay cool and control yourself in anything you do; in golf, other sports, at home, at work or school.

PerseveranceStep 1 Replay

Think about what you did and what you wanted to do. Did your expectations match your actions? If they do, then take a second to enjoy what you did well and store it in your memory. If you didn’t achieve what you desired, move to the next step.

Sept 2 Relax

Feel yourself taking a deep breath, with a slow exhale. The more frazzled or upset you are after a fumble, the more likely you are to make another mistake. Make sure you are calm before moving forward.

Step 3 Ready

Think about what you will do differently next time. Say to yourself, “Next time I will …” and decide what your action would be in that situation.

Step 4 Redo

Imagine yourself doing it better. You can also take a physical practice swing or stroke that matches what you imagine. Visualize the success you desire and keep going.

THE FIRST TEE – IT’S MORE THAN A GAME

At The First Tee, we use golf to teach youth from all backgrounds life lessons and leadership skills—and you don’t have to come with any golf experience! The First Tee helps youth become good golfers and even better people. Our Programs

How to React To Challenging Situations

We all face challenges in life. Whether it is a sport like golf or life in general, few goals are ever achieved without encountering some obstacles along the way. Part of our mission at The First Tee is to equip youth to deal with challenges, no matter how big or small. Youth in our junior golf programs learn practical skills they can apply to any situation—on the golf course, at school, and at home.

how do we use golf to learn about reacting to challenges?

starThe First Tee coaches emphasize the need to make good decisions when facing a challenge. They introduce participants to the acronym: STAR.

STOP and take a deep breath.stop_star_k_rsg

When you face a challenge in life, the first step in deciding how to overcome it is to STOP what you are doing or what you are getting ready to do. This allows you to pause and gives your mind a break.

Think of all your choices.think_star_k_rsg

The next step in good decision-making is to THINK of your choices. What are some of the choices you have in this situation? Take time to think of as many choices as possible.

Anticipate what could happen.anticipation_star_k_rsg

The third step is to ANTICIPATE the consequences (good or bad) of each choice. When you anticipate the consequences of each choice, think how the choice will affect your ability to reach your goals.

Respond by selecting the best choice.respond_star_k_rsg

After you have identified all your choices and you have anticipated the consequences of each choice, the final step is to RESPOND by picking the best choice. What makes something the best choice? The best choice is the one that helps you get to your goal. What one person considers the best choice may differ from what another person thinks is best.

The First Tee – It’s More Than a Game

With more than 1,080 locations in the U.S. and several other countries, The First Tee uses golf to teach youth ages 7 to 18 life lessons and leadership skills. Teaming up with experts in positive youth development, The First Tee helps youth become good golfers and even better people. Learn More  

Participant Speaks About Perseverance at a Special Event During the 2016 Ryder Cup

During the 2016 Ryder Cup held at Hazeltine National Golf Club in Chaska, Minn., The First Tee of the Twin Cities located in St. Paul hosted a private luncheon with special guest Tim Finchem, Commissioner of the PGA TOUR. One of the chapter’s outstanding participants, Parker Reddig, was given the opportunity to speak to the guests about his how The First Tee taught him perseverance and how that core value has shaped his life.

parker-10I started playing golf from the time I could walk.

“Rain, shine, cold or snow, I found a way to hit balls. My parents knew at an early age I had a unique passion for a game, that, quite frankly, they knew very little about. Being a young Midwestern kid in a state that lives and breathes hockey and other sports like baseball or football, I was quickly out on an island in terms of having friends to enjoy, play and practice golf with. It actually got to the point that I was being teased about what I loved to do as early as kindergarten. My friends did not understand my love for the game. My parents came across The First Tee chapter in St. Paul and signed me up for the summer classes. Little did I know, at the young age of 6, that this would have such a major impact on my life.

Fast forward to today.

Looking back and being able to understand life lessons, I want to share what The First Tee has really meant to me. Sure, the program and my instructors taught me about putting, chipping and hitting balls, but the real value I will take with me for the rest of my life are the Nine Core Values and the opportunities The First Tee has provided me through the years. Of the Nine Core Values I was taught, I feel that perseverance has, and will continue have, the greatest impact for me into my adult life. Perseverance is having the ability to persist and succeed in the face of obstacles and adversity. To do this, you need to have confidence and believe in yourself. Not only are these the situations we all face in every round of golf we play, it is experienced everyday of our lives.

How i use PERSEVERANCE in my life

Growing up in a snow-covered state loving a game that you can only play four months a year was the beginning of my lesson in perseverance. Now I use it:
  • Doing my nightly homework
  • Learning challenging subjects in school
  • Helping friends and family when in need
  • And, most recently, writing and giving my senior speech (on perseverance) in front of 400 students and faculty
 

OPPORTUNITIES

Through The First Tee, I was fortunate enough to have been a junior on-course reporter for my chapter at the 3M Championship, a PGA TOUR Champions event. I also attended the 2013 The First Tee Life Skills & Leadership Academy in San Diego where we not only worked on our game but also learned even more about how to apply the Nine Core Values to everyday life. parker-8Lastly, I need to share the most important and lasting memory The First Tee has given me. I was selected to play in the 2013 Nature Valley First Tee Open at Pebble Beach where junior golfers were paired with a PGA TOUR Champions player. My main goal was to have fun, but I also really wanted to make the cut. Only the top 23 teams of 81 would tee off on Sunday. After Day 1, my partner, Jeff Sluman, and I sat pretty far outside that cut line at 1 under par. I could feel that goal and dream slipping away and knew we needed a strong Day 2. By the end of day two we climbed the leaderboard and found ourselves shooting 11 under par as a team that day and sitting in 2nd place. I found myself being announced on the first tee box, in front of a large crowd of spectators in the final round of a professional event at Pebble Beach on Sunday. This was another lesson in confidence and perseverance. I achieved my goal, which in turn created a dream come true. 

What DOEs this all add up to?

On November 9, 2016, I will sign my official national letter of intent to attend and play college golf at Florida State University. Thanks to The First Tee and a long road of perseverance, this life goal has been achieved.”

Golf Channel Gives Three Alumni Chance of a Lifetime

Golf Channel interns
Golf Channel host Damon Hack with interns (L-R): Lauren Conder, Drake Mosley and Kayla Jackson

By Chris Hybl

Golf Channel, The First Tee’s proud media partner, has given three alumni of The First Tee a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity this summer–a 12-week summer internship at the Golf Channel studios in Orlando! The program allows these junior golfers to gain first-hand experience in their respective areas, while developing work samples for their personal portfolio.  Continue reading “Golf Channel Gives Three Alumni Chance of a Lifetime”